It used to be so easy. To be a good dad was to be a good breadwinner, to be a good mom was to be a good caregiver. Fathers ruled at work, mothers ruled at home. Accordingly, boys were raised to be breadwinners, girls to be caregivers.
Today, we have a choice. Girls can become breadwinners and boys can become caregivers. Yet fathers still rule at work, and mothers still rule at home. So do girls simply make better caregivers than boys and vice verse, or is there something else?
In her debut, Elisabeth Glas – a regular working parent like you and me – unveils the hidden psychology of guilt and how it influences our choices without us realizing it: Many moms stay at home not because they want to, but because they feel guilty if they don’t. Even worse, they over-engineer parenting to justify their choice. Equally, many dads work long hours not because they want to, but because they feel guilty if they don’t. Bottom line is that guilt has turned both, home and workplace, into cultures of over-delivery.
The good news is that guilt is man-made, and hence can be overcome. We only feel guilty if the majority around us perceives us going against the standard. If a minority does the same, we couldn’t care less. Today, moms are the minority at work, and dads are the minority at home. Tomorrow, working parents could be the majority at both, work and home.
By leveraging two fictional working parents, TOM & SHERRY, Glas shows how we can get out of the guilt trap, and finally be the parents we always wanted to be.