4.5 star

Total 939 Ratings

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller Book Summary

We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes."

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Attached (Amir Levine & Rachel Heller) Book Reviews

Awesome bookGreat book to know know what you’re..Score: 5/5

Breakthrough and mind blowing readThis book is not only well written, well documented and based in science and research, but it is easy to read and totally illuminating. I will never look at relationships the same way again, and you can be sure the next time I give advice to a heartbroken girlfriend, it will be backed with this mind blowing work. Phenomenal. A must read for everyone in or wanting to be in a relationship..Score: 5/5

Useful for finding some truth within the individualMany things that I’ve learned about how I perceive love and some ways to combatant the unnecessary game playing that is implicit within my romantic relationships..Score: 5/5

Eye opening!This book has opened my eyes to a lot of the reason my most recent relationship did not work out and how to not fall into that trap again. If you're wondering why you fight so much with your partner or why your last relationship failed, give this book a read.Score: 5/5

Very insightful!This was a great resource for unearthing the reasons why I am the way I am, and a way for me to better understand why my boyfriend is the way he is! Without this book breaking it down for me, I would be left confused and bewildered. Thank you to the authors for researching this very important aspect of relationships and delivering it to the world with real-life case studies and patient testimonies..Score: 5/5

Informing and interestingIt was really detailed on how to go about changing certain situations and explaining the meaning behind different problems faced in anxious-avoidant relationships, while giving insight on how secure people act in relationships, how they have mastered it. He really hit the nail on the head. Recommend!.Score: 5/5

10/10Extremely good read. After realizing I've had attachment issues for a great portion of my adult life, reading this book helped me gain a bit of clarity. If you are looking to understand yourself and your relationship better, this book is for you..Score: 5/5

It's not always him.I bought this book to get an insight to what makes him tick. As I read I found myself reading more about why I'm always ticked off. This book is quite an eye opener. Loved it..Score: 5/5

I learned something about myself!I enjoyed learning what my own & my wife’s attachment style is. Next time we have a disagreement, I’ll be sure to focus on the core issue and respond with a secure attachment..Score: 5/5

SuperbMust read for anyone to gain insight into the science of attachment and the role it plays in relationships.Score: 5/5

Really InterestingThis was a really interesting read. There are a lot of interesting concepts, but in places it felt like the authors were overly confident in making assumptions. I also feel like these types of books can over simplify peoples personalities..Score: 3/5

Simply AmazingThis book was instrumental in healing from my divorce and helped put me on a new path for my life. Whether you are in a relationship or experiencing the ending of one, this book will help you understand yourself and your partner..Score: 5/5

Very Eye OpeningI very much enjoyed this book and learned so much about myself and the significance of staying true to yourself. A lot of these relationship books can make you feel like there's something wrong with you and most issues in your romantic relationships are your fault. Looking forward to applying what I've learned and meeting the right person..Score: 5/5

Great bookI found this book is very interesting. There are combinations from theoretical part of psychology and examples based on real people made this book attractive and easy understandable for whom not so good in the area. Enjoy if you are interesting in human behaviors and curious how to improve your relationship..Score: 5/5

Described my relationship perfectlyI'm anxious and my wife is avoidant. The examples and descriptions in this book were 95% accurate around how I feel and very accurate around what I perceive my wife is feeling. If she reads this book I think we can repair our marriage and bring back the happy days we had in the first couple of years. I feel that early on we both managed to care for each other's emotional well being but as life stresses added up (baby, money, move to another state, college, etc) we started to fall back on our natural dispositions and things have spiraled down in the vicious cycle that anxious-avoidant relationships have. Thank you for clearly expressing this theory. In my opinion it is spot on..Score: 5/5

Life Changing 🤍This book should be a mandatory read for kids. It would save them unnecessary heartache and time. I only wish I read this book much sooner in my life. It took meeting a secure man and losing him due to my anxious attachment style to have a friend introduce me to this book. Life changing! I’m excited to start dating again and put these new-found principles into practice!.Score: 5/5

Game changer for any and all relationshipsSo grateful for this book. Can’t believe it was only a few clicks away all this time. It gave me the real answers and even closure I didn’t know I needed. This should be required reading for all..Score: 5/5

Good book to learn effective communicationIt is a good book to learn yourself and improve the communication styles. It is focused on that topics and somewhat over simplified other complicating factors. It is important for the readers to know the limitation and wisely apply themselves..Score: 4/5

It all makes sense nowAs a man who is 34 and has been in several serious relationships that were great, but also had their hardships this book has given me insight into what was really going on. Moving forward with fresh eyes now and I would like to thank everyone involved with the book for all the knowledge and work that and went into the making of it..Score: 5/5

AwesomeBook is great! Recommend to anyone who wants a better relationship..Score: 5/5

Eye openingCurrently nursing a broken heart and sorting through all kinds of emotions. A friend recommended that I read this book to better understand myself and also my ex. It was a great read and forced me to hold a mirror to myself. Also made me hopeful that in the future, I can not only work on myself in a relationship but I can pick a partner and weed out incompatible ones more quickly..Score: 4/5

Insane.I think it’s dumb that you can’t sample the book? The first couple of chapters are most important..Score: 1/5

ExcellentLovedddd it. Easy to read great examples. I recommend to everyone!.Score: 5/5

Life-ChangingI don’t think I’ll ever be the same after reading this book. I’m very thankful it was given to me..Score: 5/5

Break up cycleIf you are stuck in an on again off again this will help you get out of the anxious/avoidant trap. Reading other case studies was so awaking. I now know to find someone who can meet my needs and it really is "it's not you its me"!!!! Don't beat yourself up when the relationship doesn't work..Score: 5/5

Awesome book!So insightful!.Score: 5/5

Loved itI recently broke up with my girlfriend and didn't understand why some of the tatics I used hurt her. I thought jealousy was part of the game. I was very upset if she didn't return my texts or calls right away when she was hanging with her friends. I thought this was a normal reaction. Then I found this book and read it in a week. It has not only helped me with my romantic life but also with relationships with friends and family. I'll probably re-read this several times over..Score: 5/5

Sooooo good!!!It really help me understand the difference types of attachment. It helped understand who I am, what I am , what I need and what kind of attachment i should go for..Score: 5/5

Better UnderstandingAfter you read this book you will have a better understanding on the different personalities out there and how to best manage or avoid them. Too often we beat ourselves over the head trying to figure out why others don't think and react as we do, when in fact, once we have a better understanding of their emotional makeup we can better manage our own. Win, Win!.Score: 5/5

AttachedThis book made me realize why I have such a hard time being in a relationship. I'm the rare anxious/avoidant attachment style. It's impossible to to want someone in my life at the same time not wanting to feel smothered by too much attention. I'm working with a therapist who is a specialist in trauma and uses the Internal Family Systems therapy..Score: 5/5

Clear & PracticalI have read various relationship books, but most of them never descend from their theoretical and/or academic narratives to a level that provides advice which can be easily applied day to day. Attached, on the other hand, not only lays out information in a concise and clear manner, but outlines various strategies for navigating interpersonal relationships effectively given your attachment style. While I did not agree necessarily all assertions put forth by the authors, I found the content of Attached to be largely sound, and I have applied much of the advise therein with success. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about different emotional dispositions and how those affect relationship dynamics..Score: 5/5

Spot-onReading this was like reading about my own life. It’s good to have a little background information about attachment psychology, but the authors do a great job of providing clear and realistic examples. Eye-opening and necessary to fix problematic relationship behavior and understand yourself more deeply..Score: 5/5

Must ReadI highly recommend this book, through doing research for a course, I had this book on my list and finished it quite quickly and received so much information I was looking for + tools + clarity and hope ❤️.Score: 5/5

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Best book everThis book taught me so much! It’d be amazing if everyone could read it and learn from it, it’s definitely life changing!.Score: 5/5

Must read for anyone looking to create more in relationshipsThis is a very concise read on attachment types and what to actually do about it... very helpful in creating awareness for me....Score: 5/5

AttachedThis is a wonderful book for the psychology major, counsellor, and layperson alike. Whomever is dealing with relationships, the good bad or not so good will find help in this extraordinarily accessible book, and I am not just saying that because I have a psych degree and a penchant for attachment theory. You learn what kind of a person you most likely are, avoidant, secure, or anxious, and what your partner, best friend or other intimate relationship might be, and what you can do if things are going wrong or right. And contrary to what our parents told us you won't grow out of problematic attachment, unless you deal with the issues surrounding it. As well, you learn cool tidbits like, did you know anxiously attached people are often attracted to avoidantly attached people? So the person least willing and/or able to give the intimacy and affectionate you crave is the one you look for..hmm very interesting indeed...Well done...Score: 5/5

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