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In psychology, codependency is a theory that attempts to explain imbalanced relationships where one person enables another person's self-destructive behavior such as addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Definitions of codependency vary, but typically include high self-sacrifice, a focus on others' needs, suppression of one's own emotions, and attempts to control or fix other people's problems. People who self-identify as codependent are more likely to have low self-esteem, but it is unclear whether this is a cause or an effect of characteristics associated with codependency. Codependency is not limited to married, partnered, or romantic relationships, as co-workers, friends, and family members can be codependent as well. History The term "codependency" most likely developed in Minnesota in the late 1970s from "co-alcoholic", when alcoholism and other drug dependencies were grouped together as "chemical dependency". The term is most often identified with Alcoholics Anonymous and the realization that the alcoholism was not solely about the addict but also about the family and friends who constitute a network for the alcoholic. The term "codependent" was first used to describe how family members and friends might interfere with the recovery of a person affected by a substance use disorder by "overhelping." Application of the concept of codependency was driven by the self-help community. In 1986, psychiatrist Timmen Cermak wrote Diagnosing and Treating Co-Dependence: A Guide for Professionals. In that book and an article published in the Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, Cermak argued unsuccessfully for the inclusion of codependency as a separate personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-III-R. He found that the condition could affect people close to people with any mental disorder, not just addiction. Melody Beattie popularized the concept of codependency in 1986 with the book Codependent No More which sold eight million copies, with updated editions released in 1992 and 2022. Drawing on her personal experience with substance abuse and caring for someone with it, she also interviewed people helped by Al-Anon. Beattie's work formed the groundwork of a twelve-step organisation called Co-Dependents Anonymous, founded in 1986, although the group does not endorse any definition of or diagnostic criteria for codependency. Definition Codependency has no established definition or diagnostic criteria within the mental health community. It has not been included as a condition in any edition of the DSM or ICD. Codependency carries three potential levels of meaning. First, it can describe an instructive tool that, once explained to families, helps them normalize the feelings that they are experiencing and allows them to shift their focus from the dependent person to their own dysfunctional behavior patterns. Second, it can describe a psychological concept, a shorthand means of describing and explaining human behavior. Third, it can describe a psychological disorder, implying that there is a consistent pattern of traits or behaviors across individuals that can create significant dysfunction. Discussion of codependency tends to focus on the disease model of the term, although there is no agreement that codependency is a disorder at all, or how such a disease might be defined or diagnosed.: 723  In an early attempt to define codependency as a diagnosable disorder, Timmen Cermak wrote, "Co-dependence is a recognisable pattern of personality traits, predictably found within most members of chemically dependent families, which are capable of creating sufficient dysfunction to warrant the diagnosis of Mixed Personality Disorder as outlined in DSM III." Cermak proceeded to list the traits he identified in self-suppressing, supporting partners of people with chemical dependence or disordered personalities, and to propose a DSM-style set of diagnostic criteria. In her self-help book, Melody Beattie proposed that, "The obvious definition [of codependency] would be: being a partner in dependency. This definition is close to the truth but still unclear." Beattie elaborated, "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." Another self-help author, psychologist Darlene Lancer asserts that "A codependent is a person who can’t function from his or her innate self and instead organizes thinking and behavior around a substance, process, or other person(s)." Lancer includes all addicts in her definition. She believes a "lost self" is the core of codependency. Co-Dependents Anonymous, a self-help organization for people who seek to develop healthy and functional relationships, "offer[s] no definition or diagnostic criteria for codependence," but provides a list of "patterns and characteristics of codependence" that can be used by laypeople for self-evaluation. The Medical Subject Heading utilized by the United States National Library of Medicine describes codependency as "A relational pattern in which a person attempts to derive a sense of purpose through relationships with others." Mental Health America considers codependency to be a synonym for "relationship addiction", and to refer to people with low-self esteem who seek vicarious fulfilment in a dysfunctional family member. Theories According to theories of codependency as a psychological disorder, the codependent partner in a relationship is often described as displaying self-perception, attitudes and behaviors that serve to increase problems within the relationship instead of decreasing them. It is often suggested that people who are codependent were raised in dysfunctional families or with early exposure to addiction behavior, resulting in their allowance of similar patterns of behavior by their partner. Relationships Codependent relationships are often described as being marked by intimacy problems, dependency, control (including caretaking), denial, dysfunctional communication and boundaries, and high reactivity. There may be imbalance within the relationship, where one person is abusive or in control or supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Under this conception of codependency, the codependent person's sense of purpose within a relationship is based on making extreme sacrifices to satisfy their partner's needs. Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy "clinginess" and needy behavior, where one person does not have self-sufficiency or autonomy. One or both parties depend on their loved one for fulfillment. Personality disorders Codependency may occur within the context of relationships with people with diagnosable personality disorders. Borderline personality disorder – there is a tendency for loved ones of people with borderline personality disorder (B.... Discover the Darlene Lancer popular books. Find the top 100 most popular Darlene Lancer books.