Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships Book Reviews

Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships by Darlene Lancer JD LMFT Book Summary

Do you feel trapped between your love and your pain, long for peace but feel exhausted, belittled, and confused by a narcissist?

The core problem in relationships with narcissists is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. "Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist" is unique among voices that exhort leaving a narcissist. It’s insightful, researched, and empathetic and offers hope and help for loved ones to restore their self-esteem and rebalance a narcissistic relationship. It includes "Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships" and provides an in-depth analysis of the relationship, how to make changes, and how to assess its prognosis.

This workbook is packed with healing exercises and checklists to enlighten and motivate you. It suggests lists of actions, including a strategic, step-by-step plan with scripts to confront abuse and get your needs met. You will reclaim yourself and improve your relationship, whether the narcissist is your partner, parent, child, sibling, or co-worker or doesn’t have a narcissistic personality disorder. In sum, you will better your relationship with yourself and your loved one and be able to determine whether and how to leave the relationship. You will:

•Discover the diagnosis, type, and deep motivations of a narcissist
•Recognize the red flag when dating a narcissist and know what to do
•Identify narcissistic behavior and know how to handle it
•Understand your role and attraction to a narcissist
•Regain your autonomy and self-esteem
•Rebalance the power in the relationship
•Learn how to confront abuse effectively
•Be able to assess your relationship and be prepared to leave

Chapter 1 examines a narcissistic personality disorder, the different types of narcissists, including narcissistic parents, and the cause and signs of narcissism.

Chapter 2 focuses on the underlying features, behaviors, motivations, and traits. You will discover how to identify the type you’re dealing with, and why narcissists act the way they do.

Chapter 3 explains narcissistic defenses and all varieties of narcissistic abuse because it’s imperative to spot even in most subtle forms of abuse.

Chapters 4 and 5 look at the typical personality of people who love narcissists and what makes them susceptible to narcissists and abuse. This is where personal growth lies.

The next four chapters center on the relationship, starting with the mutual attraction and the signs and problems that arise when dating and loving a narcissist. Chapters 6 and 7 cover issues such as control, intimacy, emotional unavailability, love-bombing, ghosting, and gaslighting. Chapter 7 explores how to determine whether a narcissist is even capable of love. If you’ve been repeatedly emotionally abandoned, you’ll learn the warning clues to prevent its recurrence.

Chapters 8 and 9 are about taking action. Changing the balance of power is essential. A blueprint is laid out for you to follow in order to change the relationship dynamics. Chapter 9 details a step-by-step game plan to effectively communicate with the narcissist in your life and to confront their defenses and subtle forms of emotional abuse. Scripts are suggested you can practice to set boundaries and ask for changes that you want. It also offers advice for navigating couples therapy.

Chapters 10-12 discuss leaving your relationship and moving on. They examine why it’s so difficult, what to expect, such as trauma bonds, grief, and hoovering, plus provide practical advice regarding flying monkey and divorce tactics with strategies you can implement. Finally, as you make a fresh start, the stages of recovery are set forth along with valuable guidance and recommendations for creating a single life that may include dating and therapy.

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Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships (Darlene Lancer JD LMFT) Book Reviews 2024

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